Here you can ask Rabbi Hyman
those questions
you've always wanted to ask, but never got around to.
Please click here for the Question Form.
The answers will be posted below, the most recent at the top,
but please allow a few days for
the reply to be posted.
Archived Answers Calling Up Two Brothers
Recent Answers
Question:
Question:
Charity to a place of avodah zarah
How a Left-handed Person Dresses
Who holds the baby at the Bris
I was invited to a party after work with colleagues. I didn't think I would feel so
comfortable going out with them socially so I tried to say that I couldn't make it. However,
they said they felt that I would make more of an effort and so to avoid causing offence, I
said that I wasn't well on the day and didn't go. My friends said that I had lied to preserve
the peace and hence this was acceptable. Is this true?
Answer:
Dear Lara,
Socialising with work colleagues can be a challenge I suppose! Whilst I do not know the exact
circumstances of why you felt uncomfortable, you are of course anyway entitled to decline.
In the end you decided to tell a lie that you weren’t well, which friends say since it's to
keep the peace, is acceptable.
To preserve the peace by telling what we call a white lie is indeed permitted and absolutely
advisable! This is discussed in various sources.
The most famed reference in the Torah to this is in Genesis Chapter 18 verses 12-13 when
Sarah is told she will give birth to a son. Sarah laughs to herself saying: “After I have
withered shall I again have delicate skin? And my husband is old.” When G-d then spoke to
Abraham, the verse states: “Why is it that Sarah laughed saying: “Shall I …….though I have
aged…..” Note the change – Sarah had said about her husband being old, but G-d when speaking
to Avraham changed it to refer to herself! So it states in the Talmud Baba Metzia (87a) also
quoted in Rashi on the above verse (Gen.18-13), “It was taught in the school of Rabbi Yismael
great is peace that even G-d changed what Sarah had said to keep the peace”.
So, yes it is permitted to tell a white lie to “keep the peace”.
But let’s hope that they don’t keep asking you to join them for how long can you go on making
excuses!
How often would the average Old Testament family have offered a burnt offering or similar
sacrifice? Can you point me to a reference that would describe these activities?
Answer:
In answer to your question there really was not an average amount of times
that a person would visit the Temple to bring offerings. The order of
sacrifices both public and private, are described in the "Five books of
Moses", in the book of Leviticus.
One was required to be ritually pure to
enter the Temple so this would also limit the frequency of visits.
I hope this gives you a general picture.